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Dice

50 Shades of Dice

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  • "Dice" started this thread

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Thursday, November 29th 2012, 5:25am

PS2 Class education, by the Sarge.

ATTENTION! At ease grunts. Good. Good. Now you are hear today to learn the ways of war. Remember you are fighting to better Humanity so keep your mind sharp. You are the best minds Auraxis has to offer. With good minds comes quick thinking and fast reflexes. Also you have best weapons at your disposal so there is no reason that you should fail to win this war against the unenlightened. I am here today to give you grunts a run down of each class that will be on the battlefield. So shut, all eyes front and centre and listen up. I will not repeat myself and I do not suffer fools.

First class you need to know about is the Infiltrator. This is the class that brings fear to the hearts of the unenlightened more than any other. When you can not see where the person shooting at you and have no clue where they are, well that is what you want to achieve. Sitting back with a long range rifle picking off the fools that do not keep their heads down. But do not think these men are cowards or fools. On the Continents of Auraxis the size of wars can be much larger than that of past wars. A long range rifle not only helps your squad but it is welcomed. You will not be labelled anything derogatory for using this class. Fact when someone is popping his head over a hill to shoot at your tank with some chemical fuelled rocket or some other archaic device knowing a quick shot of pure energy will end the fool or at the lest make him keep his head down. Well your squad will thank you.

Did I give you permission to speak grunt? No then why are you? Sarah? Who is Sarah? Oh there is a woman in the room so I should stop saying he all the time? Out of a class of 50 there is one girl? I will not waste my time now shut up and get in line. Done? Good now where was I? Oh yes. Not only can the class fight at a distance it can fight close up too. If you need you can get a scout rifle and move in for closer range kills. The weapons are automatic but only really have enough power in a battery to last one or two kills. This means move to places you know are space and use your scout tool to check places you have not checked yet. No point dying with bolts on you. You again. What? What do you mean what scout tool? Did you look at the recommend reading before coming here? Fine. I will move onto the tools you have other than the weapons.

First you have a motion scanning device. This can be shot at walls and will mark on your display any of the unenlightened to walk in its range. Good for covering doorways and hallways. You can also shoot tanks with it. Why? Because even if they drive away and you lose sight of them you will know when they are. This matters grunts. Because an Infiltrator CAN NOT FIGHT A TANK. Do not run at the dam thing. Do not try and see if you can sneak past it. Don't do anything like that. It can kill you and you can not kill it. So just don't. Understood? Good.

Next is the hacking tool. This is good if you want to be close to the action with a Scout rifle. You can walk up to a terminal and make it accessible by any one of the enlightened. This means that you can hack on your own a vehicle terminal, spawn a Sunderer and set it up as a spawn point. That or you can hack a terminal and all can use it to resupply. Do use it well but be smart. You can not aim and shoot well while doing it so scout around first lest you end up in a re birthing station.

Last is the cloaking device. Yes it will make you hard to see. No it will not make you imposable to see. Do not relie on it to be your saving grace. You can be seen and while having it activated you can not shoot? Why? What do you mean why? Because the cloaking device would try and hide your gunshots and overload. Now excuse me but I do not need the issue of telling my higher ups why your sorry ass went nuclear in a bio dome and now we have no food. So to stop that there is an inbuilt inhibitor that will stop you shooting while cloaked. Deal with it.

Now that is over where was I? Oh yes weapons and tactics. Maybe I should skip onto the three class set ups you should think about using? All with me? Good.

First is the close range class. Get a scout rifle, a set of Nanoweave Armor and get your hacking skills up to scratch. You will need them. Next think about the Nano-Armor Cloaking system. Not cheap but better than dead. Those long walks back to the fight will only serve to remind you what a fool you are. Next get yourself a Proximity Mine and cover your ass. No it will not explode when you walk over it. Yes it will kill the other fools that do. Yes you can be killed if you stand too close and die. No I do not care that you think that is a danger don't stand next to the dam thing. Not so hard is it? Add on that a Quad bike and you can get in and out of small bases with ease. If your with a squad stay close. You might need to cover them from the other fools that do not understand Vanu's wisdom. Got all that? Better I am not saying it again.

Next you have the mid range. You want a semi auto weapon and a good set of shields. The Advanced Shield Capacitor will help you here as you can get away from most fights with some level of knowledge of where you are. It also helps that the Red's fire all their ammo so fast they spend more time reloading and the Blues have guns that kick so hard they can not hit the side of a sunderer with a shotgun. Pick a good distance and you will be fine. Next take the Hunter Cloak and a few Medical Kit's. If you do get shot healing yourself is helpful.

Last is the long range. For this you want a V10, a 10x or stronger scope and lots of Ammo. Take as much as you can. Wear an extra belt if you must. This is the style of shooter than puts fear in the hearts of those that are so foolish as to show themselves. Kill them all.

Last know this. If on your own attacking small installations or at great distances killing fools, you do not always have to be a lone wolf. A terminal next to the location you are holding that you can not use is worthless. Sometimes running with your squad can save the day. But beyond that know this. With the scope and size of the world and its open and baron locations, you are not hurting anyone to use a sniper rifle.



Now gents for the Light Assault. Now there is something to be said about the joy of flying. There is also something to be said about the fool that thinks with a jet pack he can fly. First rule children. Gravity is a bitch. Second rule. I am not scooping you off the training grounds. When you Rebirth you can do that yourself. With a gardening hand spade. You will not do it twice. Also those jets you just killed yourself with are not cheap. Live and learn kiddies.

Now one you master the art of no falling to your death there is sometimes a place for the lightly armed, jump jet purple dildos. Walls are not too much of an issue. The larger bases with rooftop entrances can often be climbed and last they make great fighting devices. So what is the Light Assault class? The lightly armed, fast shock troop of the classes you have at your disposal. Really. You can pick to carry lighter kits to move faster that any other class, sometimes even faster than others in your own class. Speed comes with danger though people. Run into the open without looking and I am not answerable to what happens to you. Look left and right before you cross the open. Tanks and other soldiers might make short work of you. Oh and on the subject of tanks. Don't. Just don't. Your not equipped to deal with them so unless the idea of meeting a bit of metal the size of your arm at high speed is your thing, just don't. If it is your thing than please, go and get yourself killed. I will watch. I will laugh. I might even set up the rebirthing station to switch your arms and legs over so you can walk on your arms. I mean your not helping anyone anyway so you might as well be funny as you get run over.

For the normal people out there, your carbine is your friend. They are light, reload fast and kill up close. Tip of the day with them. If your shooting at a heavy and he turns on his extra shield, get the hell out of there. Your going to lose if you stand up to him one on one in the open. He can take most of your damage unless you are pin point. If you think you are good enough to take him out then let me know how that works out for you at the rebirther. I promise to laugh loudly. Really really loudly. Fool. After your carbine you have a pistol. Yes? What do you mean what pistol? Its a pistol. If you do not know what it is why the hell are you enlisting to fight in a war. Pull your head in. Really. What? It is a pistol... Dam your thick. Ok moving on. After the pistol you have... Nothing. That is right boys. Sweet FA. So no taking on tanks, no taking on snipers and no being a hero. Your made for storming bases not roaming the wilderness on your own. Sure you can do that but I reserve the right to rename you "Infiltrator Fodder".

So then. The reasons to use this class you ask? One big one. Human beings do not tend to look up. Really. After all the many years of stagnation in our evolution no human decided to try and breed into a generation the idea that DANGER MIGHT BE ABOVE YOU? Again one of the many reasons to be thankful for Vanu's wisdom. So yes. The foolish do not look up. The smart men go up. Also when fighting MAX units remember they are slow. Jump jetting above and over them normally gains you a fair amount of time as the fools look UP and THEN turn around. Morons. Again no one said someone riding in an oversized, slow bit of overpriced tec was smart. "Oh look at me I am taller than you". Yea well now I am flying. LOOK DOWN ON ME NOW YOU MECHANISED PIECE OF SHIT!

Last lets touch on the use of the jets themselves. Use them in open fighting and your a dead man. You gain the loving attention of everyone around you. Funny. Sometimes being the centre of attention is a BAD THING. Mostly when the crowd your trying to entertain don't like your act and are packing guns. Also the jets will not last forever and if the fuel management system goes into the red you can not use them until it is green again. This means when falling it is smart not to fire them off all at once. Touch them hear and there as you fall to overall keep yourself slow and save a good bit of fuel for the end. Now your tanks will refill. How you ask? A solid fuel cell in the pack slowly being feed a water based substance will make more. Note this is not instant. Do not think it will save you from your demise. Always remember, gravity loves you. She just wants to hold you. Hold you forever. Ever and SPLAT! Don't like or trust the bitch but remember she is there.

Last. Class set ups. Lets touch on three.

First, Base attack.
Defence mixed with a close sunderer or other resupply device makes for a great and mobile class. Jump jets, some Nanoweave Armor and C-4 make for an all round fun class. Tanks look great. C-4 and after your blow them up. Mostly after. The Nano is useful. Helps with the fights you are going to get into on mass and the jump jets mean you can go over shit. Walls are more fun when you think about all the fools that have to run around them. Round the class out with a Medical Kit and your all good.

Second, Sky attack.
Jumping out of a Galaxy and jetting your way onto a base is fun, doing it past the range of AA fire is priceless. Get the Drifter Jump jets. They do not let you fly up but they let you glide far. If you use them right you need never worry about hitting the ground hard. Add to that an Advanced Shield Capacitor and a suppressor on your carbine and you have a well set up kit for group hugs.

Last the Silent Assassin...
There is a reason the word ASS shows up twice in the word "Assassin" Because they bring enough pain for both cheeks. Massive pains. Throw on a Adrenaline Pump, Jump jets and a suppressor and you have a fast, silent and painful mix. You will not last if you get seen but that's the point right, your wreaking havoc in small groups. You do not plan to be seen. Granted if you are seen your dead but with great risk comes the chance of a great and messy death. Well that or you can just fall out of the sky. Falling purple streaks that end up red... Sounds fun. Like fireworks with lots of cleaning at the end.

So yes. You have a fast and agile class that excels in killing others and themselves. Try it out. If the Infiltrator's don't get you then maybe the tanks will. Wait one second. Yes sir? What do you mean I am not meant to be telling them about the classes weakness to cannon fire? What? leaning from mistakes? Hell you gave me a class with a single woman in it what the hell you are trying to lecture me on mistakes for. No. No. Yes. Fine. Alright class I have been told you to let you learn from your mistakes. Please. Go hug a tank. I am sure the driver will love you so much he will not run you down and squash you. Fools.

(Next class soon)

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Dice" (Dec 5th 2012, 3:46pm)


Dice

50 Shades of Dice

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  • "Dice" started this thread

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Wednesday, December 5th 2012, 3:47pm

I am going to reserve this in case I need it. Now I am writing again I think this is going to be a touch bigger than I first thought.

liamv4696

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Monday, January 7th 2013, 12:24pm

Excellent!

Found it both informative, and hilarious at the same time, keep up the good work!! and when's the next section???
dont forget to comment on the face that MAX suits cant hit the side of a biodome from 5 feet away

Dice

50 Shades of Dice

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  • "Dice" started this thread

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Saturday, January 12th 2013, 12:54pm

I am going to edit what I have written and get back into it soon. I can not at this moment write comedy so it has been on hold. It is not something I have wanted to stop doing it has become of my mindset of late.

  • "Ultreas" has been banned

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Wednesday, February 6th 2013, 1:49pm

Guys PS2 means Playstation 2 and is a trademarked title, so for legal security please say Planetside 2 or another designation. Thank you
And the answer is...
... 8o

This post "dzPXCfrTGzIOxNd" by "uzappilw" (Thursday, April 4th 2013, 11:16pm) has been deleted by user "Blue Panda" (Friday, April 5th 2013, 12:31am)