Self Deception

Hat jemals ein Gedanke für jemandem so sehr Besitz von ihnen ergriffen, dass sie nicht atmen konnten?
(Did a thought about someone ever take so much controle of you, that you couldn't breath?)

I didn't want the truth
I didn't want the pain

I still hear angles(?) from the outside
There's no way to numb the pain.
When reality comes to destroy you
there's no chance to end this game.

Hat jemals ein Gedanke für jemandem so sehr Besitz von ihnen ergriffen, dass sie nicht atmen konnten?

When reality comes to confirm me,
I'll continue to live this lie.
When reality comes to destroy me,
I'll just let my memory die.
Oh so perfect from the outside,
I'm still bleeding from within.
When reality comes to destroy me,
I'll ignore it, close my eyes.

All these pictures, all these voices
I've been fearing for so long
They tear me up, they tear me down.
leave me bleeding on the ground.
There's just no cause, there is no cure
to stop this hell I'm going through.
For what I need was be your love.
For the end of me, for the end of me.

xxx
is a force (?)

I'm looking backwards for the last time.
But I know there's no way back
I'm going foward and I need you ???

But still I fail/falter (?)
I never felt a path to you.
I know it's tearing me apart.
I know I'm never gonna meet you.

I'm going numb