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Sokolovac

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: Jan 7th 2012

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31

Monday, January 16th 2012, 1:24am

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

^LOL^

I can just imagine a bunch of guys with suppressors in a dinghy all looking like navy SEAL's. Extra points if you had spec ops black camo.

Anyway, this story will come from bf2 so sorry if its a little off topic but I feel its relevant.

We were playing conquest on dalian plant (for all you new players this map is kind of like operation fire-storm, and our squad was the special forces guys, we had 6 people in a squad (1 medic,1 support, 2 special forces and 2 snipers) So we prop up snipers on the hill overlooking the enemy base as we move in towards it so what happens is we are crawling through the bushes on either side of the road trying to not get seen by infantry (One guy ran past a rock I was hiding by ~1m away) so we decide our chances are better if we go up the mountain and go to that road.

So we run up onto the mountain when a tank appears, my friends decide to hide behind this rock and I am left in the open, My idea is this, Jump off the mountain! so I sprint the tank fires its main shell and misses I jump off the side of the mountain and panic place c4 on the side of the mountain (Whats going through my head right now is "Hes not retarded enough to follow me off the mountain") Well, I was horribly wrong as I see the underside of a tank falling shortly after me. As its rolling down the mountain it passes my C4 and I blow it, bye tank :D.

But.. that's not the end of the story, so we continue crawling and hiding and blowing up vehicles that go on the road. By now most of the base is aware we are there, then our snipers alert us to 3 guys coming down the road, our friendly support was there to take care of them. We leave the medic and support behind at a watchtower to cover us as we go to take out the command trailer and UAV etc etc. We have a huge task ahead of us, recon says there are 6 people in the base, 2 of them camping the heli on the otherside of the runway. We sprint over the runway and destroy the objectives without too much opposition, suddenly a tank see's us we are practically shitting ourselves so we find the only cover in the whole area a single bush, but it isn't like a bf3 bush, its more like a textured flat image thats standing up, so now you have this random bush in the middle of nowhere that was our only option, we hide behind it and the tank arrives its pretty hectic on skype because we assumed the tank driver would notice a bush with 2 scar L's poking out the front.

Nope.
The tank totally misses us and instead goes towards the UAV Trailer 5 metres away from us, he gets out of the tank, repairs it starts to get back in My friend and I kill him and sprint like HELL to the tank!, A UAV goes up and suddenly the whole base is alerted to us and starts shooting, there is a 100m dash to safety we have to make, my friend and I are laughing and shouting as everyone starts shooting at us! We cross the runway just as a fighter jet takes off over us I take a few pot shots with the mounted LMG, It was the single most amazing scene that I have ever been in. We finally make it across the runway, steal a transport heli, rig the tank with C4 and fly off to pick up our buddies on the road and mountain. A guy tries to take the tank while we are escaping, we blow it up and fly off into the sunset to actually contribute and capture the objective.

And that is one of my many amazing BF2 events.
POI~

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: Dec 21st 2011

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32

Monday, January 16th 2012, 4:18pm

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

I had one of the most hilarious experiences in BF ever yesterday!...

Joined a really slow game of CQ on Op Firestorm. One of the those games where my whole team either sucked or camped so much that we had no flags and couldn't even break out of our own base for all the shells and bullets flying our way.

Anyway my brother and a couple of other decent players joined my squad and quickly realised we had to take somewhere...anywhere or we were toast. While the rest of my bush wookie team cried behind the rocks in our base we piled into a jeep and headed out. I was driving and got up some serious speed to avoid the tank shells and chopper guns chasing us.

We approached a flag at full speed and I launched our jeep off a nearby rock about 20ft over the walls... straight into the heart of an enemy sniper den! While in Mid air (and you can't make this up) my housemate opens the hallway door in my apartment and I hear an unmistakable tune - suitable for only the most daring of heroics - The theme from the A-team! (Some TV channel was advertising re-runs).

With the A-team theme blaring our squad literally flys into the enemy base, guns blazing, and masacres the enemy squad there. We go on to capture the flag and liberate our team from it's own base.

I felt so badass it hurt. haha

For the rest of that match I was humming that theme... -8D- If only my squad had Hannibal, Murdock, Face and B.A...
I've personally flown over 194 missions... and I was shot down every one of them. Come to think of it, ...I've never landed a plane in my life!

On Battlelog I'm PhilTheForce-Z - Add me if you aren't a bushwookie.

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: Dec 28th 2011

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33

Tuesday, January 17th 2012, 5:42am

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

Conquest Assault on Strike at Karkand (Softcore). I was playing for ???? ?????? (Mother Russia)

We were slightly ahead, but the enemy tanks were pushing us.
So I spawn near the G flag, intending to put C4 on one of the jeeps and be a proper jihadi. I find myself a jeep and apply the boomsticks, I make sure to have the detonator in my hand as I get in, and start driving. Suddenly this squadmate, who shall be known as mister Badass from this point on, spawns in my jeep. I decide to not waste my time telling him the purpose of this jeep, but rather just let him experience it first hand.

I drive around for a while, looking for enemy armor to blow up. I spot the a tank. I go around and sneak up behind it. I make sure to get out of the jeep in time, and detonate my C4. The tank goes up in flames, I give myself a mental pat on the back for a job well done. But suddenly, like a phoenix from the fire, the image of my jeep forms in the smoke and debris. As it turns out, mister Badass didn't get out of our jeep, even after he saw me heading for the enemy tank. His presence in the jeep caused the C4 to not harm it in the slightest, allowing for it to be reused. Slightly confused at the sudden explosion, mister Badass gets out of the jeep to try his hand at capping a flag.

Grateful for mister Badass's frugality, I apply a fresh layer of C4 on the jeep, and get in again. As I'm crusing around looking for more juicy tanks, mister Badass gives his life for the objective, and spawns in my jeep again. While wondering if he's going to stay in again, I spot another tank and repeat the routine of going around it and jihad jeep'ing it from behind. Again, mister badass stays in the jeep and rides the explosion yet again ,like a modern-day cowboy.

I start wondering if I'm going to be doing this for the rest of this game. I certainly wouldn't mind, as it is fun to do. I go back to the jeep and apply yet another layer of C4. Mister Badass steps out of the jeep again and starts heading for the objective. I start cruising around, looking for another tank. I spot another tank, and repeat my jihad-jeep madness. This time, however, mister Badass doesn't spawn in my jeep, so it is empty as I put my mighty C4 button. This tank, too, goes up in flames. Unfortunately the jeep is disintegrated as well.

Slightly saddened by the loss of my jeep, I make my routine look at the map for enemies/objectives. I see a couple of red dots near me, and turn towards them, just to see a building. I figure out it's a wild herd of camping wookies. I determine I have no effective way of fighting them, as there is no way to get onto this building without a MAV, and it was too tall to chuck a grenade on top of it. I turn my back on the building and start walking towards the nearest enemy flag.
Suddenly I am startled by the strangest sound, "I'm getting my shit pushed in here!". I try my best to localize the source of the sound and look towards it.

Nothing, no red triangle, no movement, just an empty street. But as I am looking around, I spot my enemy, descending with a parachute. He must've spawned on the wookies, jumped off the building and floated over me. He doesn't stand a chance as I unload my MG36 on him, and dies an airborne death. I have a little smirk on my face.

A couple minutes later my team wins the game.

Total:
1 Main Battle Tank + crew
2 IFV's + crew
1 unfortunate soul.

Aenonar

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: Dec 16th 2011

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34

Friday, January 27th 2012, 12:32pm

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

Me and another guy was standing on the runway waiting for the aircrafts to respawn after parachuting down. It took some time and we got bored. We stood about 40 meters apart, he shot me with his main weapon, I returned with an RPG. He deployed EOD Bot and started charging me, I reloaded my RPG and shot the EOT Bot...

Now what would you expect happening when the RPG hits the EOD Bot? Maybe destroy it? Maybe nothing? Maybe sending it flying sky high?


What actually happened was a classic case of Newtons law, sort of. The EOD Bot flew away backwards from the blast, but what's the counterforce? The guy controlling it of course! The guy controlling the EOD Bot flew straight forward at the same speed as the EOD Bot straight past each other and straight into a mountain where he seized to exist!

Quoted

(14:06:57) Riesig: I should stop now. People might get sig material again

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: Jan 27th 2012

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35

Friday, January 27th 2012, 1:16pm

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

I once threw my controller into a bunch of pillows because I was being spawn raped, in the process it managed to squeeze the trigger (along with other buttons) so my M98B fired. What are the chances that it hits and kills someone 530m away. I still can't really believe it myself. Certainly made my day.

One time I was being chased by an enemy and I had no ammo, but I did have a nade, so I ran down a hallway, thew my nade straight up, and I managed to get him.

Hmm let me see...

I once eliminated a squad of prone snipers - that were side by side - by knifing them all.

When playing rush on Seine Crossing, I planted 5 C4 packs along the area where the back streets flag is in conquest mode. Waited for a guy to enter my building, popped the C4, 6 kills, 1 troll :P

I can't remember any more........
STATS
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf3/soldier/NotableAardvark/stats/332117376/xbox/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf3/so ... 7376/xbox/</a><!-- m -->


Rizn-Nuke

first!!! denied...

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: Dec 8th 2011

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36

Friday, January 27th 2012, 5:33pm

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

Little story that just happend yesterday:
Rush on Damavand Peak - Last two M-Coms:

My Z11 Scout heli gets shot down over the tunnel entrance so i jump out in the last second. I fall from just high enough to open the parachute and land on top of the tunnel only to be attacked by an approaching Humvee. I take out my rpg and panic-shoot at the Humvee only to see that i completely miss him by 2 meters at close range. I get to cover only to see my killfeed:
5x Explosives destroyed
1x Vehicle disabled
1x Vehicle destroyed
4x Enemy killed

about 600 points with a missfired shot and a jaw on the keyboard.

This is just the most recent story i have in mind...

Bullets may have your name on them, but shrapnel is addressed "to whom it may concern"

Quoted from "ViperFTW"

"Pff, c'mon. You know I'm like the crazy homeless man who lives in the postbox, everyone ignores me but I'M GONNA KEEP TALKING ABOUT SHIT ANYWAYS :DDD"


Spoiler Spoiler


"I don't think I've ever moved THAT fast xD. Next time a bear's chasing me say he'll hack my acount if he catches me xDD" -Vip3rFTW

I've sat and came up with 3 theories about your PC, Rizn.
1) Its constructed by Satan and every so often it'll crash to a Red Screen that just says "Another must fall", which is your queue to go out, find a virgin, kill her and pour the blood over the beating-heart-like processor within
2) Its powered by some secret military/alien tech.
3) (My sister's idea) Its powered by the core of the Earth and is, as a direct result, responsible for climate change. Your PC being able to run the BF4 beta without crashing/lagging will destroy humanity

Nick 30075

2manyPosts4me

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: Jan 7th 2012

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37

Friday, January 27th 2012, 8:56pm

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

TDM on Firestorm, my team is down something like 45-25. I go into their spawn from the side and triple spray a group of 2 assaults and a recon with my AEK. Three more assaults come in for revives. '44 Scoped headshot on one, the next goes prone and I get a random '44 headshot on him as he's diving. Recon gets revived and the third assault ducks behind a trailer. I get the revived recon with the M26 before he accepts because he started shooting at me. I two-shot someone at range with the M26 and then get another assault that went in for a revive before I finally get killed from behind by a support and another assault.

Total in about 20 seconds:
1 Recon killed (twice)
6 Assaults killed
1 death
Copious amounts of ammo consumed
My team used the lull to push into their spawn for an eventual 100-95 win.
Emperor Nick of the Cult of Defibrillation
Sith Deity of Thread-Killing


I'm basically just a degenerate weeb who doesn't post much nowadays.

I'm secretly Old Man Symthic

Siggy thingies


Gaming Stuff


Words of Wisdom (not really)

Quoted from "Blue Panda"

You're fedorable :love:

Quoted from "ToTheSun!"

I have the highest postcount. Nick doesn't count.

Quoted

23:44 Lt_Col_Jesus: I'm -
23:44 Lt_Col_Jesus: Okay
23:44 Lt_Col_Jesus: I'm stabbing everyone
23:44 Lt_Col_Jesus: Bye guys
23:44 Nick: *flips table*
23:44 Legion: Bye, happy stabbing
23:44 *** Lt_Col_Jesus quit (Quit: off to murder the public at large).

Quoted

10:41 LB: You just...reanimated Steve Jobs.
10:41 Dice: Well that would be unfortunate, I was just getting used to him being dead.

Quoted from "Pheozero"

... fuck. Damn you hindsight!

Quoted

23:58 Failure117: CAUSE IM FREEE
23:58 Nick: AS A BIIIIRD NOW
23:58 Failure117: FREEE OF NICK'S WORM RAPE

Quoted

ViperFTW: HEY LOOK
ViperFTW: AN ALIEN LASER FISH THE SIZE OF THE SUN
ViperFTW: I WANT TO SWAT IT WITH MY COMICLY LARGE SWORD
ViperFTW: WITH
ViperFTW: THIS
ViperFTW: AS
ViperFTW: MY
ViperFTW: FUUUUCKING SOUNDTRACK :DDDD
(the album in question)


Aenonar

Data Analyzer

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: Dec 16th 2011

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38

Friday, January 27th 2012, 11:50pm

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

Perfect 32p wake rush assault... For me... ;D

Playing around with my M27 IAR with RDS, grip and silencer as well as my trusty C4.

First MCOM - enter the Amtrac and drive it off to the left side and park it there, 3 guys run off to the MCOM but I continue down behind enemy lines. Look back towards the MCOM and see 3 enemies hiding behind a rock. I quickly mow them down, turn back towards the enemy spawn and find a recon and engineer in front of the bridge trying to bring down our chopper with soflam + javelin. Right before the engineer gets off the next javelin I slit his throat, then mow down the recon.

I now cross the bridge and hide behind the rock there (and a sniper) and restock ammunition, then quickly dispatch the sniper in front. Another guy respawn and starts running up the path, which I also mow down. By the rock at the path lies a sniper, which I run up to and slit hit throat. I now continue towards the second MCOM as the first is almost down, mow down 2 enemies in the middle and arm the MCOM. On the beach next to the MCOM sits the enemy AA tank, so I get ready to C4 it. But right then it gets too damaged so the driver jumps out and starts to repair, score!

I quickly steal the AA, the driver starts to panic and run around in circles (lol), I quickly drive forward and mow him and 2 other guys down, but the 4th guy manages to get me back below 35% health. So then I jump out and kill him. But unfortunately get killed in another explosion...


Respawned on the Amtrac, ran up to the bridge again and killed a sniper. See that the AA has already respawned so I plan to run up and steal it again. Unfortunately an enemy gets there first, so I load it up with 3 C4, at which the whole thing blows up, me included.. Suicide somehow...

3rd (and final) respawn, 2nd MCOM!

I run up along the left side beach unseen and manage to get into the buildings. A tank sits right beside it so I quickly add C4 to it and blow it up. Then I proceed to the left MCOM and arm it and jump back out onto the beach. An enemy hiding on the building between the MCOM and our spawn notices me and we exchange some fire, but I win. However another enemy hiding behind a rock notices the firefight an comes after me. I have no intention of dieing just yet, so I jump back up to the MCOM, quickly toss down a C4 and run further behind enemy lines, drop an ammo pack and restock. The enemy happily followed me the same path up to the MCOM, and instead of killing me he tried to defuse - bad idea. *Click* and the MCOM was safe yet again.

Meanwhile, the rest of the team has taken out the other MCOM, so I continue the advance up the hill where I find a new AA. But before I can add C4 to it our tank takes it out, but I get the driver trying to escape.

3rd MCOM - This place is just a shooting alley, so I run as fast as I can down the beach on the left side past hordes of enemies hiding on the bluffs above which I can see lit up on the minimap, hiding whenever I see someone turning around that might see me. No one notices me and I'm soon at the end of the map. I run up the hill and find a little sniper, which I decide to take out with my knife. In the middle of the runway sits the enemy AA again, so I quickly run across behind it, strap 3 C4's to it and run in to the MCOM in the command center. On the way I shoot down an enemy that just respawned.

Arm the MCOM, blow up the C4 and continue around back. There comes an engineer running towards me, which I mow down. On the hill at the beach sits 2 snipers who didn't notice a thing, which I also mow down. Notice one enemy trying to disarm the MCOM which I run in and kill. Back outside again and kill 2 more enemies running in on me. Starting to run out of ammo again so drop an ammo pack in the corner and reload. In comes 4 enemies who didn't see me there in the corner, so I quickly mow down 2 of them another one with my pistol and the last one runs away since the MCOM just blew up.

I run after him, mow him down as well and proceed to the last MCOM. The rest of the team has finally caught up and has just armed it. I run straight past the MCOM and kill a guy trying to do something to our tank, but the driver chickened out and ran away. So I took over the tank, drove off onto the runway at which 2 engineers charged me with AT mines. My proximity sensor picked them up, and thinking it was a C4 crazy support I quickly reversed and gave them a fist of canister shell to their faces.

I continue forward, dispatch a sniper on the hill between the MCOM and runway, another one in the MCOM doorway and finally a 3rd just rounding the corner to the MCOM area.

MCOM blows up, game over!


Edit: Battlelog says 27 kill streak max... Looks like I lost some of the kills to random bullets :| Or it just hasn't updated... Oh well :|

Quoted

(14:06:57) Riesig: I should stop now. People might get sig material again

Posts: 52

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: Jan 2nd 2012

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39

Sunday, January 29th 2012, 4:11pm

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

Once a friend of mine and me (I was recon with SOFLAM; he engi with Javelin) were hanging out in Op. Firestorm constantly killing an attack chopper pilot. he had some fucked up nazi name like "fuhrer88" (i reported him on Battlelog). So eventually my friend had to leave. Somehow this guy noticed that and typed something like 'Got you now bitch' and was heading straight for me. After i finished pissing myself because of the Havoc flying straight towards me, i took my M40 and fired some desperate shots at him. The third shot (NOSCOPE!) hit this guy straight in the head.The helo started spinnig and crashed into the mountain right below me. Micheal Bay-style.
* I don't normally camp on the mountain on Firestorm

TDM. Canals. I walk around the corner and see a friendly recon WITH A CLAYMORE STUCK IN HIS BACK. I followed him around a bit just to see what happened. So i see this assault sneaking up to him and trying to knife him. IN THE KNIFE ANIMATION the claymore exploded and ripped that guy's head off. That guy ragequitted immediately.

CQT. Caspian. This bi..., well, woman, stood on the antenna with a M98B and raped our entire team. So sooner or later, our 2 jets, our viper, 2 tanks and 3 mortar guys tried to take her out (i was one of the jet pilots). After i tried for about 5 minutes (i didn't have rocket pods unlocked) i gave up, spawned as recon, took out the SV-98, put the bipod down on a jeep, aimed. First shot, headshot, 619 meters. Of course we lost the game 5 minutes later :/.

If you find any typos, you can keep them.

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: Jan 24th 2012

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40

Sunday, January 29th 2012, 4:20pm

Re: Entertaining stories from BF3 so far...

Went 80-30 twice in a round of 300 ticket TDM with the AN-94. This gun is ridiculously overpowered.